The Divine Mr. M

E keeps shouting at me, “Finish The Book! Finish The Book! Finish The Book!”

~The past day was brutal...

~I found out around one o'clock yesterday morning that PR, a truly close friend of mine up here in The Desert, had died. We'd become very tight, very quickly as we'd both had long complex lives filled with death and loss. She was also strongly drawn to The Sisterhood and had become an Ally and Elder. I don't know what I shall do without her.

E keeps shouting at me, “Finish The Book! Finish The Book! Finish The Book!”

~Things have been very difficult with the two German Sisters. There is so much promise there, though I've always known it would take years of Work to get them to fully bloom. But yesterday the older one, after months of Positive Forward Motion, again became trapped by her demons, right on the heels of PR's death. Meanwhile, the younger one simply stopped talking to me a few months ago - 'ghosting' it's called - also trapped by her demons, from what her sibling tells me. I'm not even sure she exists anymore...

I will certainly persevere there, but with the loss of PR, who also saw the great promise in the two of them, and acted as Elder for me in my Work with them...I don't know what I'll do now....

E keeps shouting at me, “Finish The Book! Finish The Book! Finish The Book!”

~So once again I am faced with Failure. I'm probably suffering from real Depression right now as I'm largely numb, with bouts of weeping. I take care of myself because I know how to 'go through the motions'. But everything is gray.

E keeps shouting at me, “Finish The Book! Finish The Book! Finish The Book!”

~However, Le-Le has acquired a VR sim where she can create a virtual model of *Nedo Uno from The First Karaal and then use screen caps as illustrations for Part Five of The Liber Sorores. And I have been going over the text and see where I need to edit and what I still need to write.

So I suppose I should listen to E and 'finish The Book.' Otherwise, all I have to do is sit here and wait to die myself.

*Nedo Uno means 'Nest One' in Spanish. It would be the first a many structures built out here in the High Desert [and elsewhere eventually] that would house The Sisterhood. It's layout is four fifths subterranean with a wide opening at the top to provide light. It is designed to conserve water, a form of hydropolis and to protect residents from an increasingly harsh environment.